I’m Throwing a Pity Party (Only I'm Invited)

+ skin care recs for angry dermatitis skin with pimples, what I’m reading and eating in May, and What I Learned When I Doubted: An Interview with Rach Steadman

Hey friend, 

1. I’m throwing a pity party. Only I’m invited. My neck hurts, my shoulder hurts, my hip hurts, my knee hurts, and the ball of my foot hurts. My pinky hurts. It’s probably Repetitive Strain Injury from excessive Googling. I always think something is wrong with me. Chasing symptoms online is a hobby of mine. I am sure this information is freely available to any algorithm. I swipe with the words my Dad taught me at five years old echoing in my ears, “I’m a hypochondriac and I need a placebo.” 

2. I recently came across the Five Things method for getting unstuck with your writing. Before finding this method I wrote a Five Things essay inspired by Nora Ephron. She wrote about where she lived. I wonder what she was stuck on when she wrote it? I guess this means this is a copy of a copy of a copy. 

3. Another getting unstuck prompt suggests writing about how you are a bad writer, a terrible writer, a no-good-at-all-writer, and while this makes me laugh, I can’t bring myself to do it. I berate myself constantly in almost everything else I do. Writing is the only thing I do for the sheer joy of it. I spent most of my life writing for an audience of one. I feel most myself, the most alive on the page, then I close the book and stow it away. Writing isn’t about metrics. It helps me pull wispy, misty thoughts into coherence in a way that is plain impossible in person. It’s how I process. It’s play. Although I worry incessantly that I have nothing to say. Or no one will like it. In fact people will hate it, what I said should not have been said, and now I can’t take it back because it’s online… No one is paying that much attention to me. Thank God. But the act of writing? Delightful. 

4. I am slowly learning there is a delight in sharing the words I write. There is not the harsh criticism flying my way that I expected, but the opening of a conversation, a “me too, that resonated,” or “that challenged me to see it differently”, or even a “thanks for sharing,” kind of thing. It deepens the joy of writing in a way I could not have predicted before throwing my words out to the shout-y internet. 

5. And here I am at five. Who would have thought? I don’t know if this is a piece. An essay. A proper thing. I have a much more serious piece to edit where I am properly stuck. Maybe this is the piece for now. Maybe good enough is the next step to another piece, and another piece. Maybe all I really need is to keep going, one word after another until essays become a second skin. This is just for fun. Is that a twinge in my pelvis? Better Google that. 

I’m Loving 

Look, I’m the furthest thing from an influencer or a beauty queen, but I keep having conversations with friends who also have angry, allergic-to-everything skin but also, inexplicably, pimples? In my thirties?! I was totally over it and did what any raging millennial, who also wants a fancy skincare routine, will do. I threw myself deep into the Reddit abyss (r/SkinCareAddiction 💛) but also talked to my lovely dermatologist sister-in-law.

Here are the things that have made my (skin) life approximately one million times better. They are all from Woolies, Priceline, Chemist Warehouse, or Amazon. Let’s be honest, if it’s not there, I don’t want it. 

So, firstly and most basic. At night, I wash my face with boring Cetaphil. But then I use two exciting serums: Neostrata (Alpha Hydroxy Acid) which you can use if you are pregnant or breastfeeding (retinol is a definite no-no!) and The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% and Zinc 1% and then back to a boring Cetaphil moisturiser. 

If you have pimples, Rael Miracle Invisible Hydrocolloid Spot Cover is GENIUS. You put them on your pimple, it sucks out all the gunk, and it stops you picking at your face. They’re tiny and invisible!

In the morning, I do the same thing, but I finish with sunscreen because the sun is bad for your face. Fun fact: chemical sunscreens can cause allergic reactions. I learned this one the hard way. But zinc will make your skin happy! I use this tinted zinc sunscreen. 

Sometimes, I finish with mineral foundation and mineral bronzer and a bit of wax on my eyebrows, but I find I use much less makeup now my skin is less angry. The less makeup I use, the happier my skin is 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

YMMV. But this definitely helped me! 

I want to go here. 

Right now I am VERY BORED with everything that I’m cooking and eating #SendHelp. I started a new job and so my brain cannot deal with new recipes.

The thing currently saving my (food) life right now is Soup Night. I’ve decided that Wednesday is Soup Night. There are entirely too many things on Wednesday. Soup Night is a balm to my frazzled soul to get home and heat up soup. I adore soup. I would eat it much more than I do except for the fact that Zac does not love soup. But think about it: minestrone, ribollita, chicken noodle soup, roast vegetable soup with a swirl of cream and fresh chives, Chinese pork dumpling and noodle soup, Vietnamese pho, Laksa noodle soup… There is an endless happy, slurpy array of soups. Bonus points if you can make it ahead and freeze.

Ok, actually, my best, best food tip for the month is this: if you want to take your minestrone game to the nek level, add smoked pork bones. It makes amazing stock and all those little smoky bits of pork fall off the bone.

I finally read Nora Goes Off Script and it’s just fun with well-rounded characters ala Emily Henry.

I’ve followed Ashlee Gadd online forever, so I pre-ordered her book. Create Anyway landed on my doorstep last week and I inhaled it. It was everything I hoped it would be! Now I’m re-reading slowly it with a pen in hand, underlining gems like this:

Some things I made: 

My mind is a kelpie 

I thought it was a Labrador. 

A mind to kick back and snack.

My kelpie savages, thwarts restraint.

And this: 

 I can’t find my keys 

Put your shoes on 

I can’t do it! 

Where are my shoes? 

I CAN’T DO IT! 

And, in case you missed it:

Let me know in the comments: what are your Number #1 skincare tips? 

Plus, I wasn’t kidding with the Send Help vibes. Please share lazy but delicious winter recipes.

Love,

Bec x